Coping with Grief: Hospice Care and Beyond
Navigating grief is never an easy process, but hospice care offers help to patients and their loved ones
Grief and loss are interconnected concepts. Grief, in its purest definition, is what happens to us when we lose something of profound importance–something we either fear or know will never be found again.
For this reason, grief is a natural byproduct of living with a terminal illness, even well before death. A patient may grieve the life they no longer get to live. Their friends and family may grieve the inevitable passing of someone they love. And all may grieve the loss of normalcy in their lives.
Everyone manages grief differently. Some people experience it fully and deeply; others may repress those emotions. Sometimes grief doesn’t look how we expect it to, as in the case of those who lash out in anger. Some act cool and aloof while suffering silently. Some experience grief in every way you can imagine.
One of the roles of a hospice caregiver is to help patients and their loved ones navigate grief in all its many forms and manifestations. This includes reckoning with any of the grief experienced during end-of-life care and supporting loved ones through the bereavement process after a patient has passed.
The care team at Valir Health has extensive training and experience in helping you and your loved ones navigate the complexities of grief. Whether through family counseling or bereavement support, we’re here to help you acknowledge and honor the most profound loss of all.
Please reach out to us if you would like to learn more.
Understanding Grief
Most people are familiar with the five stages of grief. These stages were first explored by the psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
While some people believe these stages of grief are meant to be a linear progression, beginning with denial and ending with acceptance, Kübler-Ross herself has indicated that’s not the case. Instead, these stages of grief represent the major emotional and psychological responses people will experience when faced with loss. Some people might experience them “out of order.” Others might only experience one or two.
In addition to the five stages of grief, it’s important to recognize that there are different types. One of the most significant for those with a loved one in hospice is anticipatory grief, in which you mourn the loss of someone before their death. For example, you may begin mourning a loved one throughout their entire stay in hospice, better preparing you for the moment of their death.
Some people can also experience grief in ways that may seem insufficient or incorrect to others. Abbreviated grief is a very short mourning period, although it does not mean you don’t care about the loss. In fact, it often follows anticipatory grief. Inhibitive grief occurs when someone represses their emotions because they have no tools for processing them, often leading to insomnia or anxiety.
Some people, especially caregivers, might experience delayed grief, which doesn’t strike until well after the loved one’s death. People who are heavily involved in caring for someone with a terminal illness may be unable to fully process their emotions until they’ve handled other responsibilities.
No matter how you or your loved ones handle grief, our care team will help you better acknowledge your emotions, ensuring that your loved one’s last few months are a celebration of their life, not a mourning of their death.
How Hospice Care at Valir Health Will Help You Navigate Grief
Hospice care involves a multidisciplinary team. In addition to medical providers such as doctors, nurses, physical therapists, and so on, your loved one’s care team will include counselors, social workers, and spiritual chaplains, all of whom can help you and your loved one effectively process your grief.
Part of your loved one’s hospice care program will involve individual and family counseling, giving you and the patient opportunities to work through hospice’s emotional complexities. These sessions are a chance to share fears, memories, concerns, and any other emotions you’re experiencing in a way that’s healthy and productive for all.
We also provide bereavement support for the families of our patients. Our social workers can assist in funeral preparations when the time comes, and Valir Health offers continuing support to all of our patients’ families and friends for at least thirteen months following their death, giving you the time you need to process your loved one’s passing.
Finally, we provide bereavement and other support groups for the Oklahoma community. For many people, grief can be incredibly isolating; however, it is not a burden you have to carry alone. These groups are available to anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one.
We understand that hospice care is about more than physical comfort, so we dedicate ourselves to supporting the emotional and spiritual needs of our patients and their families.
Grief is Love Persevering
One of the most affecting quotes about grief in recent years comes from a superhero television show. In Marvel’s WandaVision, the main character is comforted by a vision of her lost love, who tells her, “What is grief, if not love persevering?”
When we lose someone dear to us, our grief reminds us that we still love them, even if they are no longer within our reach. And while that love can sometimes feel too enormous to bear, a dedicated support system can help you rediscover your foundation.
If one of your loved ones is close to entering hospice, we hope they will consider Valir Health. We’re happy to answer any questions you or your loved one may have. Call us anytime to schedule an appointment.